Analyzing Formal Letters

Unit 2 Task 2
3d. Letter of Application

1. “I am the highly analytical, detail-oriented and hard-working person I have superior technical and scientific abilities.”
- Too many descriptive words
- Sentence structure
- Punctuation
- Repetitive

2. “Of course, developed devices then require testing of the prototypes, which I carry out in the

laboratory to ensure they are function proper.”
- Tone
- Sentence structure

3. “I enjoy working as a mechanical engineer. Because I find it gratifying to be able to solve complex problems.”

- Connecting words

4. No examples
- There should be relevant and concrete examples to support his strengths

5. “I would like to schedule an interview”
- Use words that allows the reader to make the decision

6. He uses multiple of “I”s

7. Structure / organization of the letter:
- Subject (Put in the role that he wants to apply instead of job application)
- Sincerely (Should be comma for consistency)
- Signing off (not a need to put address)

Criteria	Score
Content	6/10
Organisation	6/10
Language used	5/10

3e. Letter of Transmittal

1.   Content is too long winded and no factual statements to support his proposal
- Numbers
- Dates
- Costs

2. Last paragraph should be one sentence eg. “Your consideration of my proposal is greatly appreciated”

3. Addition of enclosure: “Enclosure: Proposal”

Criteria	Score
Content	6/10
Organisation	7/10
Language used	7/10